[ it almost feels like it takes a certain kind of audacity to think that. haru had adjusted his entire relationship with the water based on his relationship with rin, and rin still thought something so foolish? like an animal submitting, haru turns his head, baring rin his cheek as he looks away.

did he make him cry without even trying? ]

Sometimes ... I do feel like I hate it. [ him and makoto, that is. ] I feel happy some days. [ he genuinely does, and remembers feeling happy the day makoto told him about his feelings. he was confused and slightly disoriented by it all, but he was still happy. ] But sometimes, [ he faces him finally, fighting the urge to give rin a shove back, ] when I see you two together, I feel so far away from him.

[ he tries to keep his tone even, but it comes off as cold in spite of himself. it feels like if he wasn't blowing up at his friends, he was at subzero temperatures, and he had no idea how to control that part of himself. ]

But I told you already, right? My heart will change, and I'll be happy all of the time. [ he places a hand at rin's chest, then attempts a maneuver around him to pass him with a shoulder bump. ]