[ wrong. haru wins, again, in that category.

now that he's shifted away from focusing on the covetous anger of rin taking makoto from him, his heart has slowed enough to be understood by his own thoughts. he wishes he could drown it all out.

there's fear of something unidentifiable. rin had nothing to reject about his feelings — the process already occurred when rin threw himself entirely into his blissful relationship with the best person haru knew. ]

You're really ... so annoying. [ he tempers his breath, which naturally tries to push out in harsh bouts, rolling emotion out of his lungs that he wrestles to keep inside. ]

I thought I had caught up to you. [ he darts his gaze away from the tiled floor, bouncing it back and forth to try and keep his eyes dry with movement. there was no romantic way to reveal something so useless. he never felt ashamed of any of this until now. ] But [ his tone deflates effortlessly, as some last defensive stand his body can put up before it won't take any more, ] I couldn't make my feelings for you known in time. [ and he doesn't think he'll ever feel this again. it's not what he is. rin brought it out of him and then just abandoned him with it. ]